waiting for elma the boston terrier

grooming pains March 30, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — mumrik @ 9:37 am

i don’t cry *every* day, although i miss him every single minute of every single day.

no tears yesterday, but the day before i was helping lotta groom a beardie from one of her litters (lotta is a “hobby groomer” for a lot of dogs, and she does a great job with a variety of breeds – she just can’t do it for a living, because there aren’t enough dogs in the area where we live for that), and when lotta was finished with the dog, i couldn’t keep the tears from falling since he looked a little bit like totte in his new haircut.
the dog felt / saw my tears, lifted his head, and gave me a kiss on the cheek…

yesterday, lotta and i went to visit my mother, who turned 65 the day before.
signe (mom’s boston terrier) was a real clown (as usual), and played with her toys, and with her “dad” (mom’s fiancé)…
signe is such a happy, fun dog, and the only thing that shows she’s not a puppy (she’ll be 10 in august) is her cute whitening eyebrows…

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asorted ramblings March 27, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — mumrik @ 11:38 am

this waiting without knowing is driving me crazy…
still no word from the breeder in finland, and the puppies will be four weeks in two days…

i still miss totte something awful, and yesterday before i went to sleep, i asked him to watch over me.
i haven’t slept all that well lately – a lot of waking up several times every night – and so i figured he could help me to bring some peace and calm, because if i don’t sleep, the depression gets worse, and that is *so* not what i need right now…

i slept better last night than i did earlier this week, and so i wasn’t DEAD when i woke up this morning, which was nice…
i need to be in fairly good physical (and emotional) condition when my puppy comes home, and i’m determined to do everything right by the puppy (and myself), so sleep is GOOD…

i see lotta and her dogs almost every day, and it no longer rips my heart out every time i see her dogs.
totte is still missing in the pack, but the memories of all the GOOD things he brought into my life are helping me stay on top of this depression  and grief, so far…

 

planned parenthood March 24, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — mumrik @ 7:55 am

when i was adopted by totte, it wasn’t a planned thing at all.
which didn’t surprise *anyone* who knew / knows me, really, since i’m a very spur-of-the-moment person (that’s adhd for you *lol*).

as i said in one of my earlier posts, my family had a boston terrier, and although i loved that dog (his name was amigo), it wasn’t until i (i was in my early teens) met a bearded collie that i knew that i wanted to get a dog one day, and that that dog was going to be a beardie…

when i was 26, i came out as a lesbian, and after the initial shock (yes – *I* was the one who was the most shocked *lol* i guess i’m *slow*…) i “realized” that my “new” life would probably mean that i wouldn’t have biological children.
this was something that made me kinda sad – especially since my friends were starting to think about starting families of their own, and i guess i  figured i’d  be ALONE and UNLOVED for the rest of my life, while all my friends were busy playing house.

when my best friend told me she and her husband were having a baby, i “panicked”, and started looking for “for sale” ads for puppies.
i found an ad for 5½ month old bearded collie puppies, and called the breeder, and a few days later, i went to look at them.

never, EVER “just look” at puppies, no matter what age or breed they are!
*lol*

totte was gorgeous, and such a sweet, calm pup…

my mom was driving me (since i didn’t and still don’t have a driver’s license  or car), and when we’d left the breeder’s, i turned around and looked at totte (who was in the back of the car), and my eyes filled with tears.
“i feel like i just became a mother…”, i said, and that’s exactly how it was…

since being adopted by totte wasn’t exactly *planned*, i didn’t have a collar or a leash or bowls or anything else needed to be a good dog owner, but that was easily fixed, of course, and my “spur-of-the-moment” dog adopting thing turned out to be exactly what i needed, and i spent the next 12 years becoming the person i am today – the person i was meant to be.

*this* time around, i’m running the risk of *overplanning* the whole adoption thing, since it’s the only thing i have to look forward to (i may tell you about that some day)…

yesterday i became a member of sweden’s kennel club, because if i’m not a member there, i won’t be able to “import” (i hate how that word makes it “all about the money”) a dog from another country.

later on, i will join the *local* kennel club as well, and that’s when the *real* fun begins: puppy classes, obedience classes, agility and so much more – just regular socializing at the club with the friends totte and i made throughout our years there!

 

canine shopoholic March 22, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — mumrik @ 9:31 am

while i wait to hear from the boston terrier breeder in finland, i surf the ‘net, dreaming of all the things i’d like to buy for elma (or, in case my pup turns out to be a danish / swedish farmdog: mattea – after the wonderful country / folk music singer kathy mattea)…

lotta tells me i’m crazy when i talk about all cool things i’ve found on the ‘net, but i think she knows i probably won’t be buying more than 10% of the things i found – she knows i’m a dreamer…
*lol*

anyway, i thought i’d share with you some of the things i’ve found – maybe it’ll give elma (or mattea) a kick later on to see what her crazy mommy wanted to buy for her…

first of all – da crib:

new york hamptons snuggle dog bed

new york hamptons snuggle dog bed

moving on, we have the übercosy snuggle sack:

snuggle sack

and then there’s the elebentysebben collars…
find them all at quidopetz – here’s a sample:

brownblueflowers

and, finally, something for the holidays:

christmastree dog sweater

yes, maybe i *am* crazy…
*lol*

but i *promise* i won’t buy a stroller for my pup, or poop bags with cute patterns on them or a dog carrier bag.
*rofl*

 

waiting, camera in hand March 21, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — mumrik @ 9:20 am

so.
i’ve once again written an email to the breeder in finland to get a final answer about whether or not one of those puppies is mine.
still waiting to hear from her, but my fingers (and toes) are crossed.
if it’s a “no”, then i will contact a breeder of the other breed i’m interested in (danish / swedish farmdog), and my dream of being owned by a boston terrier will be put on hold for a couple of years (until i’ve saved up the money to buy a boston terrier pup, and, more importantly, my *first* pup is properly trained (wouldn’t want my second pup to “inherit” any bad habits from my first pup).

earlier this week my friend lotta sent me a text message saying that she’d signed me up for a “digital photography” class.
a couple of years ago i bought this really cool dslr camera: nikon d50.
for a while i was very active with my photography, but then i crashed and burned (all i can say is: “WOMEN! ya can’t live *with* them, and ya can’t legally kill them!”), and got all the energy sucked out of me, so i had to give the photography thing up.

now that totte’s crossed the rainbow bridge, i need something to “take my mind off of things” (yeah right – like i’m ever for a minute gonna forget that my heart dog has “left” me…), and so i *love* lotta for “forcing” me to take the photography class…

i plan to take a lot of photos of elma (the name for my pup if she *isn’t* a boston terrier isn’t going to be elma, so this blog’s going to look VERY weird if that happens *rofl*) when my new doggy adventure starts, and i might as well learn to take *good* pics with my camera.
*lol*

 

brutal days March 17, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — mumrik @ 4:18 pm

these few days have been brutal…

every year ever since i was 18 (a looong time ago), i’ve suffered from sad (seasonal affective disorder), which makes me just want to crawl up in my bed under the covers, and not come out until late in spring.
after i took totte home with me in 1996, i could no longer follow my instinct (the crawling up in bed & hiding one), because he needed me to take care of him.
and so i fought hard, and i didn’t give in to the “sad monster”, although i could feel it breathing down my neck.
the next 12 years i didn’t fall into the “sad trap” once, because totte came first in my life – he kept me on my feet.

this winter / early spring is the first time in 12 years that he’s not with me, by my side, and so this year sad managed to creep in, and it hit HARD.

i spend most of my time in bed, sleeping, and i can’t remember if i ate yesterday.
i don’t think i did.

the days are all the same, and although i of course know that the light outside my apartment changes in intensity throughout the day, i really can’t tell if it’s night or day…
or rather: i don’t care.
the light is gone, and the sun is mocking me.

i knew i’d “lose it” when totte crossed the bridge, but i didn’t think i would LOSE IT.
but i realise that i have.

 

maybe? March 14, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — mumrik @ 9:50 am

here we go again, with the hoping and the purraying / crossing of paws / praying…

i emailed the boston terrier breeder in finland yesterday, and asked if the puppies are here yet.
yes, they are – they were born march 1!
four of them, actually: one boy and three girls!

so, is one of the girl puppies elma?
well, i honestly don’t know…

this is what the breeder wrote:

“I don’t know now who is to whom, it will shown later.
I keep you on my mind, let’s see them again when they are 6-7 weeks old…”

your guess is as good as mine.

i want SO much to think that one of the girl puppies will be for me to love and be owned by…

of course they’re all adorable:

kennel nevicata puppies

please join me in hoping that one of the little girl puppies decides she wants to come live with me in sweden…